Hi LuceFans!
I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last post, but I’ve been busy moving back to England (near Manchester to be precise), getting to know my new people, and sniffing out some amazing scrounge zones. There’s a human across the road from us who puts out bread and chick carcasses nearly every night. She must have spotted how thin and hungry I look. I used to scale our front fence most evenings and snaffle the lot, but my dodgy hips aren’t up to it these days.

I’ve decided it’s time to put my paws up and be a doggie of leisure. I think I’ve done enough for TMS, towing her around London, Ireland and now Manchester for the last seven years. And I’m really getting into Jeremy Kyle! Last week there was this girl and these two guys … But I digress.
So today is my last day in the office. I’m kind of sad, because I have a love at first sight think going on with Ian who sits across the way. My heart skips a beat when he walks into tthe office on a morning, and he doesn’t even feed me! What’s that about? I wish he would take me home and let me sleep on his bed.

Talking of beds, I’ve got much more sociable lately. They bought me a huge new couch a few months ago, and sometimes I let them sit on it with me. And I’ve begun sleeping on their beds and giving paws and kisses. You know how aloof I’ve always been, but I think it’s time to start sucking up as I’ll be relying on them more than ever for runs in the park and stuff.

It’s been an amazing seven years. When TMS took me from the bad dog place, I thought she’d bring me back after a few weeks like all the other people did because I was such a wild child. I’m just too intelligent for my own good and was bored out of my tree with playing ball in the garden and chewing rubber bones. Then TMS put a harness on me and my whole world opened up. Boats, planes, trains, cars, tubes, offices, shops, bars and cafes, friends’ houses, theatres, crowded streets and busy roads, “find the stairs”, “find the lift”, “find outside.” So much to learn and concentrate on! I totally loved my job, especially in London! I got a huge buzz out of guiding her safely around, and watching the proud smile on her face when I figured out something difficult like roadworks or big obstacles or stupid humans who stand in the way or park their cars on the pavement.
But I’ve been there and done that, and it painful walking up and down steps and steep hills, so it’s time to chill on my new couch in front of the telly all day while she’s at work.
I have a new “brother” coming on Monday. I don’t like him. He’s young, brash and scruffy, and he thinks he knows it all. Obi! Have you ever heard such a stupid name? I’ve already christened him Dopy. I wonder if he can lie quietly under a desk for eight hours and get stuffed in a car boot for three hours every day and still wag is stupid fluffy tail? I think not! I bet he’ll pee and bark in the office and bite people and chew his own lead in half. And if he dares even sniff my Ian I’ll eat him alive!
I think it’ll be hard when I see her pick up the harness and I know it’s not for me. It’ll take some getting used to, and I know I’ll resent my replacement for a while, but I’m really glad I’m staying with TMS. Please don’t tell her, but I’ve really grown to … No, forget it.
After today you can call round any time during the day for a chinwag or a quick chew on my bone. I might even pretend I’m happy to see you.